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Barbaravolunteered to take me to pick up the dress.We decided to pull my hair back into a pony tail for the afternoon. Iselected a white lace garter belt, cinnamon stockings, white lace bikinipanties, a white lace brassiere, and a white knit dress. For accessories,I chose a red belt, red shoes, a red shoulder bag and a red scarf to tiearound my neck. Since it was still morning, I chose to only wear somemascara, red lipstick, red fingernail polish and a little perfume. Ifinished it off with a pair of gold hoop earrings. Barbara and Carol saidI had excellent taste and was really becoming quite a lady. I secretlyfelt pleased.Carol said she had somewhere to go today and would be needing herMustang. Somehow, my six year old economy car, with the faded paint joband several parking lot dents, that had been so serviceable when I was aman, now seemed to be very ugly and I really didn't want to drive itanywhere. We rode to the mall in Barbara's BMW.The store had the dress in my size. I tried. "Actions have consequences. Sad, I know. Going by the last underage tramp I had to thrash, the marks will heal in a week or two, for the most part." Shouldn't there be some permanent reminder... ?" 'For the most part', I said. I'm actually something of an artiste at beating children." Excellent!"I stood in front of the terrified truant, and slowly, deliberately, unbuckled The Belt, and pulled it out of the loops.Tilly's eyes bugged out of her head."YOU ASSHOLES!" she shrieked. "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!"In my typical working man's sartorial clumsiness, I had offended the dignity of the occasion by allowing my jeans to fall to my ankles, which exposed a half-erection poking out from the center of a large satin bow in lavender, Tilly's favorite color after pink."Happy Birthday Tilly!" we shouted together, laughing."STUPID ASSHOLES! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" I'm sorry, honey," said Pam. "I know you wanted a pony, but I'm afraid you'll have to settle for riding this little stick horse. Budget, you.
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